zaterdag 14 juli 2018

Warrior heart

My son has a warrior heart. One of my sons, or actually at least two of them.

But let's talk about the oldest one who's practicing horseback archery and fencing. The younger one is still in preparation :) .

Because of him I have been observing the horseback archery world for the last one and a half year.

I've heard comments about his horseriding. I've seen people who see archery as techniques and horseriding as a technical skill. Of course one needs a stable basis in techniques and skills. But for my child the real challenge and growth lies in his heart and mind. The real advances he makes are in his heart and mind. For him horseriding is so much more than the skills you need.

His challenge since he has been horseriding has been the question: "Can I force my will upon another living being? With many questions following this basic one: "When my horse wants to stay in the paddock, can I force him to come with me and work with me? And if so, why do I have the right to force him? Am I allowed to. And what measures do I want to use? How do I make a horse feel when I hit him? Why would I hit him? Do I have the right to? "

These are all very relevant questions I think and come especially to the surface in times of stress like for example during a competition. Where you often ride an unknown horse who is often used to a different treatment than what you are used to. When you decide you can't enforce your will upon the horse in a way that is much harsher than the way you treat the horses at home, your competition is over and all your technical skills are useless.

You could see archery as an endlessly discussed series of techniques. Main technique you are using, how fast one can shoot, as accurate as possible, how many arrows, type of bow, handle, weight and so on. Siem is a walking encyclopedia in this. He seems to know who uses which bow and recognizes bows by just looking at them. No idea how he does that.

And you need techniques to become a good archer and not destroy your body. But in the end it all comes from your heart and the rythm that comes from within. It cannot be taught with words. Of course words can give you a direction in your own search but in the end you will have to listen to your heart. Luckily Siem has always understood this and is very strong in staying on his own path. I admire that in him a lot (it gives clashes sometimes as well in other things in life but that's part of the deal).

When he started archery years ago, with a recurve bow and sight and that sort of things, he just didn't match with what they were trying to teach him. And I knew from the first moment on, when I brought him to his first regular archery training and saw the bows they were using, that I had to search another path for him, with him. We found that path in horseback archery and we found someone who is very gifted in guiding him on this path. So that Siem could stay true to his heart.

I've been watching three international horseback archery competitions now and I have noticed it's extremely difficult to compare levels and skills and define the winner of the competition in a way that all horseback archers feel heard and seen. The thought crossed my mind that all technical rules and ways of measuring and comparing scores and every other rule like the obligation to qualify for a competition decided upon by a few make the sport drift further away from its core, from the warrior heart. Of course it isn't as black and white as I am writing it down now but as a mother of at least two warrior hearts it is my worry that this will happen.

At this moment I have decided that as a mother I can only help my children to strengthen their warrior hearts and to be and become balanced human beings. I can let my voice be heard but in the past I have met many who didn't understand what I was saying at all and decided to feel attacked by what I was saying so I am a bit carefull with that. It's an eternal search to find a balance in protecting them from the ones that don't understand their path and say things that do not especially strengthen my children and learning them to live in a world that does not always fit their needs. More often not.

And with that we are back at the most beautiful and challenging part of motherhood for me, to strengthen them to walk their own path through life and stay true to themselves. Their warrior hearts are beautiful and I want those hearts to grow in freedom. I want to protect them from forces that threaten their freedom and authenticity, their inner motivation to grow. It's an eternal search for when do I intervene, and when do I let go. What can they handle and when do they need my intervention. Where does being true to myself touch their being true to themselves. Do I intervene to make myself feel better or does it really serve them. Does it come from my heart or from my ego? An eternal search I guess.

Horseback archery is a beautiful and very effective magnifying glass. I am grateful for the ones that showed me their warrior hearts and helped me in my search for my own truth. Story will be continued, the path of life will be walked upon.

Geen opmerkingen:

Een reactie posten